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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/princessparkghost on 2023-09-10 04:50:27.

My (23 F) brother (31 M) and his girlfriend (22 F) just had their first baby a few months ago. I went to see the baby when she was first born and I’ve visited a few times since to see the baby. My brother lives about an hour away from me and I don’t have too much free time to see them very often. I recently bought a house and have been working on renovating it on top of being a full time student and working full time. So not much free time in my schedule.

Things were pretty chill during the first month or so of the baby’s life since my brother was able to take time off to be home with the baby full time. My brother’s girlfriend does not work, so she is also staying at home with the baby full time. Of course, my brother has had to return back to work and this has taken a toll on his girlfriend. She has been unable to take care of the baby by herself and has requested someone stay with her the whole duration of time my brother is at work. For a while, my mom would help out and stay with her. Then, her mother stepped in and stayed with her while my brother worked. Now, both are unavailable and my brother and his girlfriend are expecting me to stay over and help her take care of the baby.

I do not feel that this is my responsibility. Especially when I am being called and asked to come over on extremely short notice. My brother works night shift, so these calls are coming at around 9-10PM. I feel awful saying no but I have very limited time to myself and I don’t think it’s my job to take care of their baby. My brother’s girlfriend was adamant on having a baby even though many thought —and still think— that she was not mature enough to have a baby. Now, she cannot take care of the baby by herself for more than 2 hours without calling someone and asking them to come help her.

I hate it because I feel bad and start to worry for my niece and if she’s being taken care of properly. Thought, at the same time, I truly don’t think it’s normal that someone needs to stay with her every single night while my brother is at work. Is this actually normal and I’m being the a**hole? Or am I warranted in saying no?