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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Regular-Lime-3860 on 2023-09-10 11:36:31.

I (35F) have a tattoo on my forearm that I love. Last weekend, my husband and I went to a party with some friends from college. It’s still warm out, so I work a short-sleeved dress that showed it off.

Until recently, I kept the tattoo covered up if a certain friend was around. Lucia (36MTF) hated my tattoo and made it clear every time she saw it. I kept it covered as to not piss her off.

However, Lucia did something last year that I can never forgive her for. She is currently serving time for a DUI. Given the severity of the accident she caused, she will won’t be out for a very long time.

I lost my father to a drunk driver, and it almost destroyed my surviving family. I refuse to drink. If anyone I know is caught driving under the influence, they are dead to me. Everyone who knows me knows this.

An acquaintance saw me and my tattoo, and asked if I was worried if Lucia would be upset if she saw me. I said that I didn’t care what she thought because 1) screw her and 2) I stopped caring about her once I found out what she did. To me, Lucia is dead.

Turns out I was talking to Lucia’s cousin and now she’s upset that I would speak so badly about her. Our mutual friends think I’m being too harsh on her because this accident has already ruined her family and I didn’t need to add on to it. On the other hand, a few friends still side with me because they get where I’m coming from given my past and my beef with Lucia.

For the most part Lucia’s family and remaining friends think I’m an asshole for being flippant about her now that she’s in jail. But am I the asshole?