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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Total_Insect_7022 on 2023-09-10 17:42:11.

I (31F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been trying to conceive for a while now after we had a miscarriage this time last year. No luck so far, and it’s looking like we’re going to need some kind of medical intervention. I’m kind of struggling with this, whereas my partner is big into just “it’ll happen one day” etc and refusing to go to the doctor.

We went to family dinner a couple of days back to celebrate his sister’s engagement, where she also announced that she was pregnant - she doesn’t do things by halves! Of course it goes without saying that I am happy for her, but other people announcing their pregnancies always feels like a bit of a kick in the gut and reminds me of my own fertility struggles. It also doesn’t help that this family celebration also happened to fall on the one year anniversary of my miscarriage - which they don’t know about. It also transpires that her due date is exactly the same as mine should have been.

I of course was very congratulatory and told them how happy I was for them etc but on the inside I wanted to die. I then had to sit there and listen to my boyfriend’s parents talk about how excited they are to become grandparents for the first time (though it should have been us first) and then have them make all the ‘it’ll be you next!’ kind of comments. I found it very difficult.

Because of this, I explained to my partner earlier that I don’t want to spend loads of time around his family at the moment because I feel like it’s being rubbed in my face (unintentionally). There’s several get togethers planned in the next couple of months and I just don’t think I can face them. He said he understands but that I’m being ridiculous and making it about myself when I should just be happy for his family. AITA?