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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Individual_Pen_9435 on 2023-07-02 17:14:00+00:00.


I recently went on a trip with my friend organized by my uni class. On the first day this guy from another class approached us and asked if he could join us for lunch. We noticed that everyone else in his class was avoiding him, but we thought he was lonely, so we agreed fo him to eat with us. Immediatly it’s clear why his classmates ignore him: he seems to be unaware of most of social clues and has uncommon hobbies. However I try to be nice to him. My friend on the other side keeps being rude to him, and acts very bothered by his presence.

The trip goes on and the guy keeps staring at us from afar, tries to interact with us, despite us clearly showing we want to be by ourselves. He asks both me and my friend for our numbers, to go out for drinks later that night. We say no. However, he waits until I am alone, and corners me asking again for my number. I give in since professors are close by and I don’t want to cause a scene. Maybe this is where I made a mistake. Throughout the day he starts complimenting me, specifically my phisical appereance. I do not engage with him. Then he starts complaining that I never speak, that still he knows nothing about me. Professors jump in on that agreeing that I am extra quiet. I admit I am sensitive about this topic, so I start becoming extra uncomfortable. This constant bother continues, with him complaining that I am not speaking enough, that I am not smiling etcetera.

I was already uncomfortable at this point. I make a joke to my friend: I see a bed exposed in a shop window, saying I was so tired I would gladly go sleep there. The guy chimes in, commenting that lots of people would surely pay to look at me. My friend scolds him for being a creep and he plays dumb.

Later that night we go to dinner and this guy of course sits in front of me. My friend sits next to me, but with her back directed towards me throughout the whole dinner, so I am forced to interact with this guy, while professors keep teasing me because I am so quiet. My friend even encourages the guy to keep talking to me, despite me previously telling her I was very uncomfortable. In the end the guy asks me to go out together. I refuse, saying I am very busy (at this point I was panicking and I was so stupid not to say I am in a relationship or that I am not interested). He keeps insisting and I keep rejecting him.

Finally the dinner ends, and I am very upset both at him and at my friend for not helping me at all through this uncomfortable situation. The first day we are all back home, he texts me “how are you”. Ofc I don’t reply, since I am still bothered. My friend however tells me I was being too harsh on him.

AITA? I feel like I gave him so many signals that I was not interested and he actively chose to ignore them. On the other side maybe I was not clear enough on not being interested in him.

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    11 year ago

    Got this new guy at work that seems deep in a spectrum. His intent is harmless though, he’s just real awkward. I thought I’d not be the asshole and entertain his conversations. He brightens my day when I see I brighten his. However, he isn’t hitting on me and stalking me. You should be assertive as necessary and follow you instincts. Just wouldn’t close ones self off to the oddballs of the world.