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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/disjointed_chameleon on 2023-09-12 02:14:16.


TLDR: I finally escaped my abusive husband. Kinda.

I know some of you have been following my journey, so I wanted to share an update.

The house finally sold last week. Getting it ready to sell was a nightmare, since – in addition to his laundry list of issues (anger issues, chronic unemployment, financial irresponsibility, etc.) – he’s also a hoarder. Let’s just say I had to hire professional intervention on numerous occasions, and he even tried to stop the professional crews I hired! Luckily, the crews followed my directives, and it got done. The final night in the house, I was literally awake until 6am doing last-minute, “oh shit” panic cleaning and tidying of his messes. It got done. The house is finally sold.

We had booked an AirBnB to stay at until “we” could figure out future, more permanent living arrangements for after the sale of the house. I put “we” in quotation marks because I’ve been planning my escape for months now. We were supposed to be at the AirBnB until the end of this week. Well, as I was getting out of my car in the garage yesterday evening, a lady came up to me, informed me she was the property manager, and that the host of the AirBnB I was renting out was operating the unit illegally.

Cue shock and panic, especially since I had my dog with me, and she’s a bigger dog that is unfortunately one of the oft discriminated against breeds. She said they’ll be pursuing eviction against the tenant that rented it out to me. She said since my stay was less than 30 days, she’d be willing to look the other way, since I’d only be there through the end of this week. Me, though, being a rule follower, immediately started making other arrangements. AirBnB basically told me if I wanted at least a partial refund, that I’d need to vacate.

Abusive STBXH was at work while all this was going down. He knew it was an illegal unit, so took all his crap out of the unit in the morning, in case I needed to vacate during the day (I work remotely). I vacated it several hours ago. As the afternoon started rolling around, he started texting me, and pressing me about where “we” were staying for the next few nights, until “our” condo is ready on Friday. By the way, the condo that I paid for entirely by myself (security deposit), and only applied for under my income.

I finally worked up the courage to tell him, over the phone, that I wasn’t in a good headspace, and that I’d be staying with friends for the next few nights, and that he should book a hotel for himself. He knows I’m in the state, but not where in the state. I’m at a hotel. I paid the security deposit today for the condo. I get the keys on Friday. I think… (hope?) that tonight’s message finally gives him the ‘wake-up call’ he needs to realize our marriage is over, and that he won’t be moving to the condo with me.