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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Significant_Term_786 on 2023-09-12 02:02:33.

Some context we have one child, they will be 15 this November. We had our first child at 20, and my husband was unable to follow through with his plans of going to law school. He studied engineering, and at the time had a job offer at Raytheon since he was going to graduate that year. He of course took the being he was going to be a father.

He has never liked his job, his dream was always to be a lawyer. Remember his family telling me that is all he has ever wanted to be since he was a kid. I understand this is his dream, but he has a family now and unfortunately, we have to think about the bigger picture.

We have spoken about this at length, my husband is smart but even he doubts he could maintain working and going back to school, especially with the workload of law school. Also factoring in cost he wants to go to a top 10 school, and based on his LSAT score it is possible, but will cost us.

No matter how I try to look at this it seems like a stupid move. I get it this is his passion his office has more law-related books than anything else. I know he could do it and be happy, but even his friend who has a law degree has told him variance for pay is insane. Especially in the field he wants to practice. He wants to practice special needs/education law. He told me the details but it went over my head.

After months of talking, I told him I would divorce him if he went through with this. He cannot jeopardize our family’s future and well-being because he hates how his life has turned out. Not everyone gets to live the ideal of following their passion.

After all of this, my husband told me I was being selfish, especially since he paid for me to finish my degree, and used the fact that I was able to get a degree in a field I enjoy against me. I understand it is not fair but facts are facts I cannot sustain our household on my income. He was able to sustain our household on his income. I technically do not have to work which provided me the luxury to earn a degree based on my interests and not income-driven

What he does not understand even if I did want to go down the path of a high-earning job, I understand my limits and capabilities. I do not have the mind to deal with what my husband did in school, especially in his case since he graduated two years before our friends.

My husband has me I am manipulating him because if we divorce he will be forced to stay working. What he does not get is our focus is on our child, if he has money to pay for a top education for himself that money should go toward our child. He had his chance, our duty is to make sure our kid has the best possible chance.