This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ConfusedGranny0 on 2023-09-12 13:55:59.

Me again, the lady(61F) who rents a room to university students.

A little background: after my husband’s death I thought of moving into a smaller apartment, because I was alone and my daughters(38-35) have been living abroad for years.

It was my cousin “Tom”(48M) who suggested that I could rent one of the bedrooms to students, since I live in a city with 3 important universities.

I consulted an accountant and a lawyer to see if it was possible, and to draft the lease. Then I did some renovations to make the house more functional for the new purpose, 100% paid by me, and I started the business that I always managed alone.

To thank Tom for the suggestion, I gifted him and his wife a 3 day vacation in a luxurious resort & spa.

Fast forward to nowadays.

Tom invited me to his house to discuss something important. I drove there and he said that his son “Alan”(19M) will attend the university in my city and he wanted me to host him. In our country the university year starts in October.

Actually, I don’t want Alan in my house. It pains me to say it, but he’s a spoiled, dirty and messy young man. He doesn’t clean, doesn’t do laundry, doesn’t cook, doesn’t lift a finger in the house. His room looks like a landfill, despite his mother “Sara”(50F) cleaning behind him like a maid.

I never criticised their parenting, because you know the saying, “not my circus, not my monkeys”, but if they want to bring the circus to my house, well, that’s different.

Since he’s family, I said I’m willing to have Alan as a tenant and apply a discount on his rent, as long as he’s civil and respectful, keeps the room and bathroom tidy and cleans up if he dirty something in the common areas.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, Tom got red in the face and yelled at me, “how dare you ask the family for money?”

He expected me to host Alan for free for the entire university cycle. 3 years at least, probably 5.

Sara cut in, yelling louder than Tom, saying I’m greedy and selfish, that I should willingly give them half of my earnings because the rental business was Tom’s idea, so they’re entitled to my money or that I host their son for free. She added that, since we’re family, she expects me to be like a mother to her child and cook and clean for him.

At that point I felt disrespected. We fought, I put my foot down, said no, drove away and didn’t answer their angry messages.

Eventually I rented the room to two girls.

Tom and Sara wrote about what happened on their socials and, surprisingly to me, some family members sided with them, calling me stingy and accusing me of breaking the family over money, because Tom and Sara wrote that they will no longer attend parties hosted by me and the said family members will do the same.

My daughters are on my side, but maybe just because they’re my daughters?

AITA? Should I agree to host Alan for free because it was his father who gave me the idea of the rental?