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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Comfortable_Clothed on 2023-09-12 15:56:00.

I (F28) am a Muslim woman. I was not raised Muslim, but I converted during a difficult time in my life and I honestly believe it saved me.

My husband (M30) was there for me during this time, and has always understood my reasons and is very supportive despite being an atheist himself.

My husband’s sister (F24) is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid, which I am thrilled to do. We have chosen a modest dress which I can wear with a hijab, and there are no qualms on that front.

The issue comes with her bachelorette party. She wants a Vegas themed party and all the girls must wear bikinis in coordinating colours. Now, I wouldn’t mind this if I was just in the company of women, but I cannot show my body off in front of men, and two of the bridesmaids are my SIL’s gay best friends (M24 and M25).

These two guys are lovely and I have absolutely no issue with them, but I cannot wear a bikini in front of them. I tried to compromise with my SIL and wear something modest but still in the colour scheme, but she says I am being homophobic and ruining the vibe of the party. She said if I can’t wear a bikini, then I shouldn’t bother being a bridesmaid at all.

My husband said I need to do whatever makes me feel comfortable, but my MIL (F62) is saying that I am driving a wedge in the family over nothing, and it isn’t like I have never worn a bikini before and I can set aside my “ideas” for one night. She said that they don’t count as men under the Muslim definition because they are gay and won’t look at me “like that”, and I am purposefully being difficult.

My SIL has followed through with uninviting me over this, and said she’ll never be able to see me the same way again because of my selfish behaviour. So, I come to the internet to ask if I am being an AH?