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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Prestigious-Cow3034 on 2023-09-12 13:54:52.

I (39M) have been with my wife, Cassie (38F), for five years now, married for two. She has two kids from a previous relationship, Calvin (12M) and Carly (15F), and I also had two kids, Cole (13M) and Callum (17M). Both of our previous partners died when our kids were really young.

Cassie and Carly have a very different relationship than the rest of us. Carly still calls my wife ‘Mama’ or ‘Mommy’ even though Calvin just calls him mom. They still cuddle together and sometimes I get home to Carly and her sleeping in our bed. Cassie still packs her lunch every morning and personally emails her teachers if Cassie has a bad grade, neither of which she does with any of the boys. She definitely favors Carly over the boys but has assured me that it was just different since they were both girls.

This morning Carly woke me and my wife up at 4am saying she had a nightmare. The last time I was woken up by a nightmare was when Cole was 9 and Callum was 8. I was tryna sleep after a 12 hour shift and was a bit agitated, however I waited until Carly and Callum headed to school to speak with my wife. I told her that I understand that the kid needs comfort but she’s also 15. In a few years she has to go off to college and won’t have her mother to placate her whenever she needs it. She called me a douchebag for trying to deny her daughter comfort but I told her that Carly can’t be a well adjusted adult if she relies on her mom constantly. She stormed off to her mother’s house after our fight and left me alone to get our two moody middle schoolers up by myself. AITA?