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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRApuip on 2023-09-12 16:09:02.

Would it be bad if I (26F) moved out of the house away from my husband (28M) for a week?

I guess I’m trying to prove a point. I (26F) don’t want to get divorced but I have honestly thought about it. My husband (28M) has rage problems. He frequently gets mad about stuff and then resembles a toddler that didn’t get his way. He swears like a sailor, rampaging and talking to fast you can barely understand him between swear words. He will do this for a solid 10min. Then he has a terrible time accepting blame for his actions and tries to blame people around him.

This past weekend he was at a bachelor party. Before he left he was angry because he couldn’t find a stray cat that got trapped in his garage. I told him don’t worry about it. Have fun on your trip. I will get him out. I wasn’t trying to promise I would get it out, rather that I would do my best. This cat is legit a ghost because I spent a ton of time this weekend with the door open, banging around in there, trying to lure the cat out and even setting 3 humane coon traps and I still couldn’t prove the cat was officially gone. I told him when he got back because he was all worried about it- that I’m pretty sure that cat may have snuck out when the door was open but idk.

Well last night he found evidence of the cat in the still and blew off the handle, throwing a massive swearing fit and stomping his feet around. I said I know you are mad but you need to calm down. He said “well I’m just mad because it’s your fault you didn’t get the cat out. I gave you one job and trusted you while I was gone and you couldn’t even do that right. I’m just gonna half ass when you ask for help now.”

I was appalled and said what did you expect me to do??? I did my best. Somewhere in our arguing he told me I couldn’t do anything right because I forgot to do some stuff while he was gone. I told him I was busy and I was sorry but I didn’t my best all the way around. But why is he so focused on what I didn’t do and can’t see what good I did do? I try to focus on the good and don’t bring up if he forgets to do something. He said “oh please, even if I did everything right you still wouldn’t do anything right.”

Ouch….

Well he said he was sorry only after I told him basically he needed to apologize. Then said he’s not mad anymore and just wants to stop talking about it and just fix the problem. Part of me just wants to drop it. The other part of me wants to go spend a few days at one of my grandparents rent houses to see if he gets how serious I am. I’m pretty good at forgiving, so I know I’ll be over this later. But I’m getting pretty resentful of this pattern of him hurting my feelings and then apologizing by going “I shouldn’t have said that BUT do you see what you did wrong too?” It doesn’t feel like he actually gets it.

I’ve told him this and he just says I’m trying to start fights that have ended. He doesn’t listen. Should I leave for a few days to make a point or no?