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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/wherestheserotonin on 2023-09-12 18:25:58.

I’m on mobile so sorry if bad formatting. I am still just so angry and honestly sad over the argument my husband and I had the other night. I was reading the article about the Danny Masterson case aloud and how Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are so shitty for writing letters to the judge about his “upstanding character”. About halfway through the article, my husband says “Stuff like this can ruin someone’s life”. And I was in agreement because I thought he was talking about the victims. But then he says “No, the guy’s life can be ruined”.

???

So I ask him to elaborate on that and he talks about how he had a couple of old coworkers that are “really good guys” that have their lives “ruined” by women (or in one case, where the girl was 17 and the guy was 18 or 19) because the women “lied” about them having sex, being assaulted, etc., and it ruined the guy’s life. And I’m at first dumbfounded, because I am a SA survivor and he knows this and has shown me nothing but compassion and love and helped me heal from it. I ask him how he could say that, ESPECIALLY when he brought it up in response to a case that is CLEARLY cut and dry RAPE in the case of Danny Masterson. And he says after I tell him the details of the case “Well I didn’t know that, that’s pretty obviously awful, but it’s not always like that and the men can have their lives ruined”. I ask him how often he thinks that happens, truly, that a woman would outright LIE about her assault. He says that people do more awful things than that just to get back at someone. I say, yes, awful things like assault women.

He could tell I was absolutely infuriated at this point and he starts backtracking and just tells me to drop it but I don’t. I keep on trying to explain that his line of thinking is exactly why women don’t speak up, they are afraid of not being taken seriously because of shitty takes like his. And he just keeps quiet.

I’m just still so deeply hurt and saddened by this argument, not only from what I’ve been through, but that someone like him who is otherwise a wonderful person could think this way. And how men think this way. And he won’t even listen to my point of a view, a woman’s point of view. It just fucking sucks. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading, I just moved away from my therapist who I would normally tell these things to but now she’s not here and I needed to get it off of my chest.