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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/learnfromitaita on 2023-09-12 20:48:59.

My wife (40F) has a 19-year-old daughter (Meg) that is starting her second year of college. Meg attends a state school that is about a 4-hour drive from where we live. She started classes about 2 weeks ago. Meg has taken out loans to pay for her college and lives on campus so she has no rent and has access to food on campus. She worked all summer so she has a fair amount of her own money, but we still provide her with $100/month to help her out.

This past weekend, my wife got a call from Meg at 3am. Every parents’ worst nightmare because no call at that time is good news. Thankfully, Meg was OK, but she had gotten arrested. Apparently, she had been at a party with friends and gotten drunk. She walked home with a group, but split off with a couple other friends at some point. This smaller group walked up to what they thought was one of their houses, but it wasn’t.

The people who lived there did not appreciate the door bell ringing at 2am and called the police instead of opening the door. When the cops showed up, Meg and the others ran. Meg got caught and arrested. She called us from jail and wanted us to come bail her out.

My wife practically jumped out of bed and started to get ready. I asked her WTF she was doing and she said we have to go get Meg right now. I told her it’s 3am and a 4-hour drive, if I’m going to be driving that far I need to get some more sleep first. My wife ripped the blankets off the bed and told me we need to leave “NOW!”

I got up and reminded her that there are 2 other kids in the house (Stepson 16 and our son 9) that we need to talk to before we leave and I don’t want to wake them up at 4am to tell them we’re leaving. I also reminded her that due to her astigmatism, I’m guessing she wants me to drive since it’s dark out. I told her she either lets me sleep until at least 7am, or she leaves now and drives herself. I told her that Meg is safe even though she’s probably scared and uncomfortable but that maybe she needs to feel that way right now.

She tried to argue with me but I told her that I am not going to fight about this so she either leaves now or lets me sleep. Thankfully, she let me get some sleep but woke me up right at 7am and told me to get in the car. She apparently hadn’t slept and had already told the other kids what happened and that we have to leave but would be back later that day.

The entire drive my wife made comments about how scared Meg must be and how we should have left earlier, etc. I kept trying to tell her that Meg will be fine even if she’s a little shaken up by this. Then, my wife told me that if this was my son instead of Meg, I would have jumped out of bed just like she did.

That pissed me off because I would be doing the same for my son that I’m doing for Meg. You get arrested at 3am and want us to bail you out, you’re waiting until I’m damn well ready to come get you. But my wife thinks that me sleeping instead of leaving right away was an AH move.