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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tough-Rice8341 on 2023-09-12 20:33:02.


My girlfriend and I have been together for five years, truthfully our relationship is great we rarely argue about anything. The only consistent argument in our relationship is about her sleeping habits. Important for context, she isn’t lazy - she has a busy job, busy social life, goes to the gym, and we often do things together.

My issue is we regularly disagree with her sleeping pattern, when we were at university it was fine. Now it’s just bizarre. Here are some examples

  • She goes to bed around 11pm gets up at 7am (normal amount of sleep)
  • Any journey (plane, car journey, train if she is not travelling alone) she will have a ‘quick nap’ regardless of how long the journey is she will sleep most of it.
  • Regularly returns from work and has a nap for an hour
  • Works from home two days a week and uses her lunch hour to sleep
  • Gets up very late every weekend regardless of what time she’s gone to sleep, and will regularly also nap

I understand she may be tired, and I have understood this over the years. My AITA is that this has been bothering me for some time which I have mentioned. Yesterday we returned home from a trip away (I do all the driving as she only drives roads she knows, I also don’t mind). It was a 6hr journey I’d also made on Friday. I asked her to please not sleep the entire time as it would be good to chat etc. 5 mins in, she is asleep. I woke her up when we arrived home. She apologies for sleeping, I called her selfish AITA?

  • @[email protected]
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    31 year ago

    Might be a medical condition. Maybe get her checked.

    It’s not selfish to have basic needs like sleep. In my opinion YTA. Sleep is nothing to apologize for.

  • @[email protected]
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    11 year ago

    Sounds like she has some kind of issue that needs to be checked, it doesn’t sound healthy to be able to sleep or nap that much. But they’re a bit of a dick calling her selfish, maybe just support her getting checked over instead?