This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway_95672 on 2023-09-13 11:54:01.


My wife and I have been married for almost a decade now, and we have three beautiful daughters together. I absolutely adore them, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. They are my pride and joy, and I love being a dad to them. However, I’ve had this dream of having a son to share certain experiences with. Maybe it’s the stereotypical “father-son bonding” stuff that got into my head, but it’s something I’ve always wanted.

Now, here’s where the issue arises. My wife and I are both in our mid-30s, and she firmly believes that our family is complete with our three girls. She’s been through three pregnancies and deliveries, and she understandably doesn’t want to go through that again. She’s also concerned about the financial and emotional toll that having more children might take on us, especially since our girls are starting to get more involved in school and extracurricular activities.

I totally respect and understand her perspective. I can see how demanding raising kids can be, and I don’t want to disregard her feelings or the sacrifices she’s made for our family. However, I can’t shake this longing for a son. I wouldn’t say it’s about favoring one gender over the other, but rather about fulfilling a dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember and not wanting to miss that chance while it’s still here.

We’ve had several discussions about this, and they’ve become increasingly emotional. I’ve tried to explain my feelings to her, and she’s expressed her concerns as well. We’ve reached a bit of an impasse, and it’s causing tension in our relationship. She feels like I’m pressuring her into having more children when she’s content with our family as it is. On the other hand, I feel like I might regret not trying for a son later in life.

So, am I the jerk for wanting to keep trying for a boy even though my wife doesn’t want to? I spoke to a girl friend of mines about it and she told me I was being a bit unfair to my wife.