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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wide-Suit3767 on 2023-09-13 13:13:24.

My wife and I have four boys who are 16yo, 12yo twins and a 7yo. The 16yo has always been very close with her. Much more than to me. One of the twins is equally close to both of and and the other is closer to me than her. The 7yo is way closer to me than to her. BTW she birthed our eldest and the other three were surrogate but from donors.

I’m a very physically affectionate dad and my 7yo loves physical play. I’m very in tune with him. Also I think he just wants to spend more time with me because I’m a guy. Lately he’s been rejecting his mom and asking for me with certain things. For example he doesn’t want her to help him in the bath just me. He wants me to tuck him in or he prefers to sleep next to me. If I ask for a hug or a kiss then he’ll give me one but give her a limp one. If I take him to school, he’ll hold my hand but walk 6 feet in front of my wife if she takes him.

She said that breaks her heart and I asked her what breaks her heart? That our son is closer to me than her? Our 16yo was the same way and I didn’t and don’t take it personal. Our 16yo isn’t our 7yo. I asked her if she’d be okay with having our 7yo being close with her and not me. She didn’t answer. I asked her what she wanted me to do and she gave an attitude. I told her not to give me an attitude because I’m not apologizing for our son being closer to me than her at this point in his life especially when she would be okay if the shoe was on the other foot because it has. I never gave hee an attitude because half our kids are Mommy’s boys.

Later I apologized for overreacting but told her she needs to own that she’s jealous and needs to get over herself. Both of us can and should do better. She’s still ignoring me because she can’t admit her part in our conflict. I’m just ignoring her. I have plenty of other things to stay busy with.