This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PersonalityFit2085 on 2023-09-13 13:44:54.

My husband(42M) and I(38F) have six kids, 3 are biologically ours (8F, and twin 6M), and 3 are adopted siblings (10M, 7M and 3F).

We make a high 6 figure income combined, and are debt free, as well as owning our house outright (relevant).

My husband and his brother were raised by very neglectful parents, and used to talk all the time about having a big family when they grow up. They were upfront with me and SIL about wanting a lot of kids from our early days of dating.

SIL and BIL are starting to try for their first kid, and SIL has been leaning on me for emotional support, which I am very glad to provide.

Last Sunday, she asked me to be brutally honest about what it’s like to have 6 kids. I told her that my experience will not be very helpful to her, seeing as how our situations are very different, and she asked me to explain.

So I told her that I am a SAHM wife with a passive income in the high 6 figures, my husband makes over 300k a year, so we are lucky enough to not have to think about the financials when it comes to a large family.

Same goes with child care, I have 2 nannies, that is the only way I found to be able to give all my kids the attention they need, seeing as my youngest has health issues. And that even without those health issues, 6 kids are a lot of work without someone there.

And finally, my husband and I were looking into adoption and surrogacy because pregnancy is hard on the body, so 3 was my limit of pregnancies, and that we were lucky that we were able to foster to adopt our 3 adoptive kids. But if we didn’t, adopting 3 extra kids, or hiring surrogates was going to be very expensive.

Well, apparently she talked with BIL, and told him what I said, as well as how they should maybe space having kids more, so they could give them a higher living standards, and now he is accusing me of manipulating her, and being a jealous bitch who wants to be the only one with the big family.

Was I an AH by telling her everything I did?