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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/wish-teria on 2023-09-13 18:09:11.

This is a rant more or less, I don’t know how to feel.

I’ve (F22) been dating my boyfriend (M36) for 7 months now, and the first time we were intimate together I told him I insisted we use a condom, as I was paranoid of STIs and accidental pregnancies. I also told him I am not the type to casually hook up, I’d only been with 3 other people. At the time he said he was the same way, he “isn’t casual”. Long story short, he recently got out of a long and serious relationship, and I had assumed I was the first person he’d had sex with since then, so I was trying to be very gentle about it, and knew him well enough that he’d tell me if wasn’t clean etc.

Fast forward, a couple months in we stopped using condoms, everything seemed fine for awhile. Then I started getting what I thought were yeast infections and UTIs. I’m always very careful about my hygiene, used boric suppositories once a week, and had never had this problem before. My self confidence really took a dive, and I felt gross. We didn’t have any sex for 2 months this summer, and the “yeast infection” cleared up. While on a lake trip, my symptoms for the UTI suddenly got worse. Fever, chills, really bad cramping and pain when using the bathroom. I went through the PPD app and ordered antibiotics, took those for 5 days, and felt great again! We finally decided 4 days after I’d finished my antibiotics to have sex again, both thoroughly showered beforehand. And… it hurt, super bad, I was literally barely holding back tears and the weird cramping came back. 2 days later, I get the fever back, and the cramping. I was super out of it, but managed to make myself an urgent care appointment for the morning.

I woke up throwing up bile, multiple times, and couldn’t keep anything down. Urgent care immediately sent me to the ER instead, for fear of appendicitis. My boyfriend drove me there, and spent the whole next 2 days with me in the hospital while they ran tests and put me on IV antibiotics. I have a tubo-ovarian abscess caused by chlamydia, and if I’d waited any longer, or hadn’t taken those antibiotics, I would have lost my right ovary and tube. I’m still on the antibiotics, and there’s a risk that it doesn’t clear up and I have to get surgery done regardless. He felt awful, he had no idea he had Chlamydia, but he told me that in the months between his breakup and us dating, he had been with around 20 other women, a few of which he had unprotected sex with, and then didn’t get tested. I didn’t get mad, I told him he didn’t know he had it, and I get how that’s some people cope after a breakup. But he should have told me from the get go, I would have approached this relationship way differently, been more careful, insisted he get tested, etc. I just feel really lost, things have been great between us, and I really felt like I had found “the one”. But almost dying from an infection, and having possible permanent damage to my reproductive organs due to his thoughtlessness/lies/selfishness lowkey breaks my heart.

tldr: Otherwise perfect boyfriend withheld how many people he’s slept with, gave me an STI that I almost lost my lady bits to, and idk how to feel.