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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/fluffyzoomer on 2023-09-13 22:30:54.

I (31 M) have been married to my wonderful wife (33 F) for a year. My sister (33 F) is getting married October 1st. I’m happy for her, but I’m not attending the wedding.

Sister is one of the angriest people I’ve ever met. Mom brushes it off because Sister’s a tiny blonde who weighs 105 lbs soaking wet, but she has rages that can last for days. If you do something she disapproves of, she’ll scream and sob and break things. It’s been this way our whole lives, and she’s never once faced consequences or admitted to wrong-doing.

Well, if you can’t guess from the fact that I’m posting here, I did something she didn’t like, and her response led me to block her on everything. If I’m the asshole for doing this, I’m ready to accept my judgment. But I think I made the right decision.

I’m the only boy in my family. When I married Wife, I took her last name. I did it for practical reasons: my last name was hard to pronounce/spell, and hers is a word. Think “Jessica Rabbit” or “Grace Slick.” That’s my wife. She never has to spell it out or help pronounce it, and ever since I took her name, I’ve been significantly happier. I work on a construction site, and even the meat-heads there said, “Wow, that’s much easier. Good call.”

Sister–who didn’t attend my wedding, ftr–was absolutely furious when I told her. Screamed at me, called my wife an “emasculating abusive bitch,” said she was going to start calling me “Mrs.”, and that Wife’s not invited to the wedding. I said if Wife isn’t invited then I’m not invited–we’re a package deal. Sister told us both to fuck off, and I thought that was the end of it. We didn’t speak for months, but then a wedding invitation arrived in the mail.

It was addressed to me. Just me, using my old name. No acknowledgment of my new name or my wife. I swear, if Sister had simply addressed the invitation to “Mr. and Mrs. New Name,” I would’ve taken it as a sign that she felt remorse. Wife agrees that the gesture would have gone a long way. But instead Sister decided to toss in what felt like a final petty dig.

I told Sister we would only attend if she apologized for calling my wife a bitch. She refused, accused us of giving her an ultimatum, and said we were “punishing her for having an opinion.” I no longer care that it’s my sister’s wedding–I refuse to subject my wife to what will surely be an abusive trainwreck. Now that the wedding is only a few weeks away, my family’s been hounding me nonstop. They don’t understand how I could miss my sister’s big day, and they think she can’t be held accountable for her actions because planning a wedding is stressful. AITA?