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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Top-Constant-9267 on 2023-09-14 00:25:22.

This started about 6 months ago when my wife, lets call her Emily (42f), was out of town on a business trip and I (43m) was taking care of my daughter (14f), lets call her Erica. During that trip Erica was hanging out with a few friends after school and got caught by their parents smoking weed. They notified me and obviously I was pretty livid. I was devising my punishment and part of that punishment was her having to explain to her mother about what happened. When she called my wife to tell her instead of saying what she had done she lied and said she came home to another woman at our house.

I think this was an attempt to get out of trouble and has instead created a massive rift between me and my soon to be Emily. Erica did eventually admit to lying about me cheating, but Emily has refused to believe the revision and has zero trust for me now. She has demanded to prove I am not cheating, has looked through my phone multiple times, was looking at my credit card transactions, and even demanded I allow her to track my phone which I refused. After a few weeks of this I changed my passwords to my credit cards and phone and things have been extremely tense ever since. Emily refused to trust me or work on our issues.

Last week, I gave Emily papers for divorce because I am not going to live with someone that refuses to trust me or works on it at all. When we told Erica we were getting a divorce she was notably upset. She said something about it being all her fault and I responded with “A little bit”. Not my proudest moment and I mostly blame Emily, but Erica started us down this path. Emily called me an asshole and said it is my fault, which I don’t under stand, and Erica was even more upset after the comment. AITA?

Edit: I have never cheated before. she has had previous partners cheat, but that was 15 years ago.

As some have mentioned, no we were not perfect and maybe I didn’t realize how bad things were. We had been in couples therapy for awhile which she refused to do anymore after this. I thought it was just people that have been together for so long stuff, but maybe she was looking for a reason to end it.