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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Important_Comment269 on 2023-09-14 07:18:27.

Throwaway Account because people know my real one.

I (30f) am fully aware that when you make a list many would say that I would fit the title of “Golden Child.” It’s not something that I aspired to be nor is it something that I actively lord over my sister “Tammy” (27f). It’s just how my parents treated us.

When Tammy was 13 she did something that she wasn’t supposed to do, knew that she shouldn’t do it, knew that our parents would punish her if she did, and tried to do it behind their backs. Well, because of her actions the garage caught on fire which then spread to the house. The smoke detectors went off and the fire department came so everyone was fine but the house was unlivable and a lot of sentimental items were lost.

Unfortunately, there was a mistake with the monthly payment for homeowner’s insurance so my parents didn’t get much money, and we had to live in hotels and/or on the kindness of relatives and friends. My parents had to work crazy extra hours while looking for an affordable apartment and were furious with my sister. They didn’t express all their anger but they made it known that they were not happy with Tammy.

I got my own room in the apartment while Tammy had to sleep on an air mattress. I was allowed to keep one of my extracurricular activities while Tammy lost all of hers. I was trusted with a lot more freedom while Tammy was expected to come straight home after school and couldn’t go anywhere one the weekends. Tammy often cried and begged for forgiveness and my parents response would just be “what do we do with that?” or “tears doesn’t equal cash.” As soon as Tammy was legally able to work my parents expected her to in order to pay them back for the damage she caused, while they gave me an allowance.

We still celebrated Tammy’s birthdays but mine were nicer and she knew better than to confront my parents about it because they would tell her that her birthday money was spent on paying back the people they borrowed from when they needed money to help pay for the damage she caused.

My parents helped me with college while Tammy was expected to figure it out on her own. I was angry at Tammy for a long time too but after seeking help with my struggles, I decided to start forgiving Tammy and we’ve had a few heart to hearts. Unfortunately, Tammy felt as if that meant I’d be her ally against our parents and I’m just not there yet. I was completely shocked when she called our parents out at family dinner and stayed silent when she looked at me for support. Our parents lashed out at her and she went crying to her room. I gave it a day and when I texted her to see how she was feeling she lashed out at me for “relishing” in being the Gold Child. I told her that it was wrong of her to do what she did without asking if I’d support her 100% first. AITA?