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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/awaterbender on 2023-09-14 09:29:49.

My sister (34F) and I (29F) have had a very difficult relationship. She looked down on me for a number of things and have always had a disparaging view on everything that concerns me. However, that’s only of little concern to me right now.

She and her husband (34M) have been trying to have a child for a few years and have trouble doing so. I’ve been empathetic of this very huge concern and I get it: it is hard. She’s also done IVF and some other treatments but they’ve not worked out for them so far. So, to bypass that, they asked me to donate my egg to them - which I very readily agreed to do. However, it came with a caveat. They wanted me to come ‘in a day’. I live in a different city, I’d have to fly down and back (6+ hours) and miss days of work. I told them I’m anyway coming to their city on 7 October for a couple of weeks (for a family meet) and I can do it then. It’ll also save me a bunch of money on airfare.

They refused and said I should come within a couple of days to make it happen. While I understand they are in a rush, but why am I being expected to 1. travel on my own and 2. Do it as per their convenience.

My mother also pitched in here: she said I should be more understanding as they’ve been trying for years and must be in a lot of stress. I told my mother I understand and I’ve not really said no to it; I’m happy to do this. But they should either pay for my airfare or let me come when it is convenient for me. But now, things have turned into a whole thing and the entire family is calling me and AH for not going to their city to help them. So, am I an AH for not going?