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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AnxiousTip4788 on 2023-09-14 05:47:43.


Two weeks ago, my boyfriend (Jared, 25m) and I (24f) finally took the plunge and moved in together. For all intents and purposes Jared is an awesome guy to live with and I’m super happy we’re sharing a home.

Jared and I met at a company party about a year back. We work in different departments, and even more than this, we work from home four days a week, so we hadn’t really had a chance to get to know each other until then. At the party I also became good friends with the women in his department and started to meet up with them for drinks every so often.

When we started meeting, I noticed that sometimes, the women in his department would have complaints about Jared and his workload. He always got great performance reviews so I thought little of it, and they knew we were together so they were always gentle, but they put it as him routinely missing deadlines or speeding through work and making small mistakes here and there that one of them would later have to fix.

I always sided with Jared until we moved in together. Then I learned they were completely right. Basically, he’ll work for a couple of hours in the morning, and then load up his favorite game (Path of Exile) for a “break” while he has work on his second monitor. Between in-game activities he’ll take a look or make a couple of changes, but then jump right back into the game.

At first I tried to tell him we were on company time and shouldn’t burden people in our department. He said that if I had time to supervise him then we were no different. Over time I noticed that he probably spends 3-4 hours a day truly working, 4-5 hours a day focusing more on his game.

Yesterday I finally blew a gasket when I realized how much the women in his department had put up with. I called his supervisor and gave a full accounting of how Jared split his time working from home. The supervisor immediately called Jared to chew him out, threatening to take away his WFH privileges. Jared apologized and said that I was exaggerating his time spent in-game, but I had already told the supervisor that he would try to sell this story.

Now Jared is furious at me. Yesterday evening he installed a lock on his workroom door so I couldn’t check in on him anymore. I still hear clicking and keyboard sounds that are distinct to his video game.

Did I go too far here?