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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/no-summer-08 on 2023-09-14 13:21:39.

I (F40’s) grounded my daughter (F18) for not coming home after i let her go to her friends place. She sent me a message saying that the buses were cancelled and asked if she could sleep over at her friends place and promised her friends parent would drop her back home as early as they could. I immediately said no as i do not know this friend or parent. She got upset with me and we started arguing on the phone.

She said that it will be that one time and i wasn’t hearing it i wanted her to find home her way home. She argued that i never really let her go out during her school days which is true as i never understood why she wanted to go out with her friends on a monthly basis, i wanted her to focus on her education.

She shocked me and ended up staying at her friends place and came back the next day. I got home during my break soon after called her and her older sister (20) and stared shouting at her asking why she disobeyed me and stayed in a home that was not hers when she had her own home with her family. She then said back that i never let her live her life and go out with her friends and during school whenever she asked i always said no with no reason. I told my 20 year old that i wanted to hurt her when i see her i was so angry with her that my anger would’ve got the best of me in this situation.

I told her she’s not allowed to leave the house until she goes back to college and she’s not allowed to go back to the nursery she volunteered at i could no longer trust her. After that incident she stayed in the guest room and did not come out unless necessary. She hardly ate, showered, and spoke to anyone in the house. I again was upset at this as i don’t know why she kept to herself in the guest room. We also hardly spoke. I asked her to apologise to me for what she did and she said she had nothing to apologise for. We spoke a few times when she asked me for money for a game she wanted to play on her phone and that was it.

AITA for this?

Edit - a lot of you are talking about how i called my 20 year old on the phone. I did not i called her from there shared room. My 20 year old lives at home with me but she’s in university. We are in the UK not USA. Stop asking why i did not pick her up myself, i couldn’t as i do not drive.