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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Electronic-Mud-2225 on 2023-09-14 18:57:11.

I’m still pretty upset with what has happened, but I’ll to explain my story clearly.

I (F28) made a pretty dumb decision roughly 9 years ago when I decided to elope with my then-boyfriend, Mike (M30). My parents (M67 and F63) hated Mike from the start; they thought he was a user. I thought they were meddling too much in my business, so (with Mike’s encouragement) I went completely NC with them. They tried repeatedly to get back in contact with me for the next 3 or so years, but I entirely shut them out and didn’t communicate with them at all.

After Mike dumped me, roughly 4 years after we eloped (almost 5 years ago from today), I was in a pretty rough place. It seemed like years where I was just wandering between pointless relationships and dead-end jobs.

Fast forward to this year, and I feel that I finally have some stability in my life. In late August, I decided to reach out to my parents again and reconnected with my mom online. She and my dad were both thrilled and invited me over for dinner. I accepted and planned on meeting with them this weekend.

As the date came closer, I started looking at my parents’ social media accounts and kept seeing the same woman (and her family) in so many pictures with my parents. She was literally on vacation with my parents, and I even saw my parents with her at her wedding. Even worse, later pictures showed that she had 3 kids and was referring to my own parents as her kids’ “grandma” and “grandpa”.

Yesterday, I called my mom and asked her about this lady, and she said that she was a family friend who they met about 5 years ago. She told me that she and my dad became really close with her (and her family) and considered them to be relatives. I was shocked by this and felt pretty emotional. So, I then told my mom that just because I was away, that didn’t give her and my dad permission to essentially replace me.

My mom denied this and said that I couldn’t be replaced. I told her that she was clearly lying based on what those kids were calling her and my dad. My mom started crying, saying that I was blowing things out of proportion, but I hung up. That evening, my dad called me and he sounded pretty angry. He said that I made an active decision to be an idiot and run off and because of that I didn’t have a right to criticize him and my mom “for going on with their lives”. He mentioned how they tried repeatedly to get into contact with me, but that I kept on keeping them at a distance.

I tried to argue with him, saying that we’d never be in this situation if they had been more supportive about me and Mike, but he said that was irrelevant now. I was so angry with him at this stage, so I told him that I would not be coming over. He said that was fine since I couldn’t be trusted to act like an adult.

AITA?