This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/sayer_of_the_law on 2023-09-14 18:36:31.

I (16F) have been in foster care since I was 6 and it’s not great. I’ve been with my current foster parents Bob and Lisa for 4 years. It’s better than other places but their bio kids (Adam 12M, Braden 11M, Charlie 9M) don’t like me. I mostly just stay quiet and keep my head down but it’s to the point that I legit hate the oldest 2. Charlie is ok when the others aren’t around, I think he mostly just goes along with his brothers. Bob and Lisa wanted to adopt me 2 years ago, and Adam had a screaming tantrum about it and I told them I didn’t want to be adopted. It was a rough time because everyone was trying to convince me to do it and it hurt Bob and Lisa a lot that I said no but I don’t want brothers that hate me and I don’t think Bob and Lisa’s family really want me around.

It came up again on my 16th birthday last month and Bob and Lisa said that they really want me to be their daughter on paper and for us to be a proper family. I don’t think it would change anything, other than nobody could make me move to a different home. I like Bob and Lisa fine, but I know they treat me different than their bio kids and Adam and Braden remind me all the time that I’m not really family. So I don’t feel like I belong here and it’ll just get worse if they adopt me.

I said I don’t think it’s a good idea, but they asked me to think about it for awhile so I said I would. Bob’s mom must have heard about it because she caught me alone last weekend when she was over and told me I was ungrateful and have no reason to refuse and it was generous of Bob and Lisa to take me in and give me a home in the first place and they deserve better from me.

I haven’t told Bob and Lisa about it but she might be right. They’re nice to me and i’ve been much worse places and they want to be my family after I age out. I don’t think anyone else wants that though, so I don’t know if I’m being an AH for hurting them or not.