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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/EmilyMarsh on 2023-09-14 19:00:53.

There’s a guy in my friend group who sometimes talks (among all of us, like men and women sitting at a bar) about women he’s dated and what their dates were like, or asks for advice, and that really freaks me out.

It’s not even that was he says is particularly graphic or scummy (I guess? Maybe my bar was set too low by misogynists?), it’s stuff like: “I had a good lay” or “she was kinda stilted about it, so we would never get to that part” or “I really like doing it sideways with her”. Mind you, the “good lay” was a girl we all knew from school, and the other two were introduced to us later, so it wasn’t even general statement about anonymous people we’d never even meet.

That’s terrifying to me, I would feel sick if someone I dated talked about me like that to anyone. But idk how reasonable it is to expect that? Maybe not at a bar table, but I wouldn’t even want people to go their friends for advice, or like friends asking how it went and them answering. I’m choosing to trust one person with intimacy, not all of their friends.

But I guess people do need to discuss things with someone else sometimes? Well, I could even pay them a therapist, if they must.

Now that I think of it out of everyone I know it’s only this guy that does it, though. Yeah, I don’t know what the social expectations are (and by the way I’ve only dated a few people a long time ago, whose friends I didn’t know).