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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Electrical_Day_1250 on 2023-09-14 22:07:40.

A couple of weekends ago I was at the wedding of my good college friend, Amy. For context, I am in a longterm relationship but do not plan on getting married, for various reasons including the fact I don’t want a wedding as I hate a lot of the traditions involved for feminist reasons, and don’t really care about having one anyway. My friends know all of this. I could not care less if other people do these traditions, and have never judged anyone for doing so. I have had a great time at all of my friend’s weddings.

At Amy’s wedding, we get to the bouquet toss. I don’t like this tradition, so in general I opt not to take part, and given I don’t even plan on getting married, it makes sense for me to sit it out. When I saw it was happening, I went to go to the bathroom. The maid of honour (my friend too) saw me leaving and told me that I should wait until after the toss. I said I needed to go, and she then said she’d make them wait. I insisted they go ahead, and this friend gives me a very long stare, a sigh, and then went over to take part in the toss.

A few days later the bride and this friend got in touch and expressed how disappointed they were that I didn’t take part in this tradition for Amy’s sake. Every other unmarried woman took part, and they said that making a clear political statement at Amy’s wedding was cruel as they know about my thoughts around all of it. Amy said her bouquet toss memories are now tarnished knowing how much I’m judging it from a feminist perspective. They said I can decide to not do things at my own weddings, but it’s only polite to take part in the activities at other people’s

I want to make it clear I barely talk about my opinions on this stuff, only when asked and with so many disclaimers that I do not judge people for doing any of it. I am not that person.

AITA for not taking part?