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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/dhasnk on 2023-09-14 23:17:37.

Context:

My best friend sexually assaulted me. I froze. I moved away and slept off. Swept it under the carpet.

I couldn’t immediately process what had happened but in a couple of days I cut him off. He kept asking me why I cut him off, and one day I just couldn’t hold back - I confronted him on the call. He admitted to it and profusely apologised. I asked him to never talk to me again and threatened to pursue this legally if he ever did. The very next day he called me for an extremely random reason without understanding the gravitas of the situation. I took a friend along and confronted him in person. The situation got very out of hand with me crying. He admitted to both the friends I took along about what he did to me.

I have plenty of proof that he did it - straight from the horse’s mouth. Yet, I haven’t told anyone about it. We study in the same class and I see him everyday.

A similar situation happened in my friends’ circle last year with another girl and another boy and nobody for once asked the man WHY he did it. It was all about “why was she there”, “why didn’t she walk away”, “why didn’t she bring it up before”. Even the people who cut him off have now restarted their friendship with him.

Even with all this proof, I am scared to open up. I don’t want my trauma to be a subject of public debate with people dissecting it for their pleasure with zero regard for the fact that an actual human being was affected.

Do I owe it to the other women? To tell them about my experience for their own safety? I’m confused because I doubt it will make a difference. I’m scared that my own character will be put under scrutiny. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed when I think about this, I just want to shut off my brain. Wish I could undo this trauma.

Telling people is not an option. People around here are assholes and will either not believe me at all or pretend to believe me and still fraternise with him (I literally watched it unfold this way the last time a girl chose to open up)

In some twisted sense, I guess I’m protecting him and convincing myself that i’m protecting my mental health.

How do I deal with this?