This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SubstantialSea840 on 2023-09-14 23:59:44.

Sorry for the long post but I am so numb & don’t know who to talk to.

Over the last 5-6 years I(36f) have gotten my husband (35m) birthday lunches, Framed photos of his art, a website that I made of all his work, microphone & amplifier, Apple Watch, leather jacket. A small party on a boat, a private sea side dinner. These were always along with cakes & cards. I am not rich. I just save for him.

He did nothing for my first 3-4 birthdays, or any other life events. Then for the 4th year he sent me $15 gift directly from the seller & not even wrapped.

The 4th year I told him that he either reciprocated properly or we are done. That year he buys me jewellery & flowers on valentines but does nothing again for my birthday. We fight again so he admits that he didn’t have much money but promises to fix it & sends me cake & flowers the next day.

5th year he goes all out sends me a coach bag, flowers, cake & everything & I am overjoyed. & he promises me that he will celebrate me all the time & manage his planning better. & I told him that if money is short then we must communicate.

He recently released a successful music video. So I booked him a private sea side dinner with 5 courses of his favourite food, a very expensive perfume, the restaurant played his music. Then he does nothing for Valentine’s Day.

This year for his birthday I buy him a $450 jacket that he had mentioned wanting & a cake.

Now for my birthday last week he surprised me at midnight with cake & flowers but next day we did nothing till the evening so I was pretty sad. But at 5 pm he surprised me by calling my parents & sisters for tea & he got me a second cake, I see my parents every other weekend so I was kinda hoping for a romantic date that he hasn’t taken me on since our wedding. I told myself that it’s enough & I must be grateful.

But the next day my sister told me that he had told her that “her gift is on its way”. So my hopes suddenly got up again & I started getting excited.

Today I asked him what my present was, & he said he had ordered me a pair of jbl headphones. But the order had gotten cancelled 3 times. I was so heartbroken- because I could tell he was lying & there was no present or no order- so I said I don’t want it coz I have my own. I didn’t fight at all today. Now he is being distant.

The reason I am mentioning the cost of products is because He often gets the finest things for himself & I feel like an afterthought. What hurts the most is that there is a designer belt sitting near our door since a month that he ordered for himself. So I don’t think it’s lack of money. I have seen him browse watches for his friends wedding months in advance. My sister says that I was an asshole after he planned such a nice birthday for me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that he lied to her about my present.