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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Pangolin-7571 on 2023-09-15 06:03:54.

I live in a large apartment complex (20+ floors) with a large lobby and every time I enter or leave the building the concierge greets me with some kind of strange greeting like “hope today makes you smile!” when I leave or “welcome home!” when I come back. Every time, this social interaction just feels so disingenuous and contrived and leaves me feeling kind of uncomfortable.

I should add, this is the first time I’ve lived in a building with a 24/7 concierge, but other buildings I’ve lived in with concierges only acknowledged me when I addressed them directly. I get that the concierges in my apartment are just doing their jobs and they provide a level of security for the building, but I find their style of interaction to be over the top.

One time, I came back one time from a week long vacation, and I suppose the concierge didnt recognize me because I walked in with my boyfriend after he scanned into the building, walked by the desk without checking in (as is apparently required for guests), and she yelled at me from across the lobby “Excuse me! Um!! Excuse me!!!” and I had to let her know that I live there by holding up my building key fob in order for her to stop pestering me.

In order to avoid these interactions, I now walk around the buildings with earbuds in (the universal symbol for please-dont-talk-to-me) and don’t make eye contact when passing the desk. I figured they would pick up on the non-vebal cue that I’d like to be left alone but my most recent interaction with them demonstrates that they haven’t picked up on it:

The other day, I walked in the building with my boyfriend and he greeted the concierge at the front desk. I gave her a slight reflexive wave as well to be polite and she responded sarcastically: “Wow!!! So you decided to notice me today! First time ever!” or something to that effect. I just laughed awkwardly and walked on.

To be clear, I don’t feel this same way about all service workers, literally only these concierges at this particular building. I greet the housekeeping staff in my building as well as the concierge at my office building, particularly because we pass each other in such close proximity. These particular concierges at my apartment building get on my nerves because the interactions always feel so forced, almost like its a requirement for me to interact with them and get their blessing before I go to my apartment where I live. I wish they would understand that a lot of times after a long day of work or early in the morning when I am leaving for work, I am not a complete human being and don’t feel like having yet another forced interaction. But maybe that’s just my social anxiety.

However, this last interaction has made me feel even more awkward and anxious entering and leaving my building and has got me wondering whether I’m an asshole for not wanting to greet the concierge every time I exit and enter my apartment.

What do you guys think?

EDIT: I should add the concierge desk is about 50 feet from the front doors, so I am not walking directly in front of them while trying to not make eye contact, but more like trying to slip by unnoticed. Might not make a huge difference in the AITA analysis because they are still clearly trying to make an effort to communicate with me every time I enter the the building, albeit from a greater distance.