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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Practical_Prompt_752 on 2023-09-15 13:37:48.

I(28f) am the eldest child and have been financially helping my family ever since i started earning since my dad is retired and my other sister(22) just started earning and contributes her fair share to the household.

We live in a developing country that has limited education options and my family and I wanted to send my youngest sister(18) abroad to pursue her university, with me being the one paying for her fees (out of my savings, which i had been saving for my wedding someday but my sister’s education is important and i could gather up my savings again in the future).

Now my youngest sister and I always shared bittersweet relationship, her being a gen-z and me a millennial. We always had differences and arguments where she would just be rude and would throw typical teenager attitude but nothing serious.

She started looking for colleges abroad and i asked her to keep me updated. However, i would sometimes find myslef lost and missing details in the conversation which was due to the fact that she wasn’t keeping me entirely updated and would share the information with my other sister only. They were always closer to each other but considering that i am paying for her fees and initiated this topic of her going abroad, i expected to be kept in the loop. I explained to her twice to keep me updated so i would know whats going on and can take decisions but she failed to do so.

Before a few days i found out that she has been sharing hostel pictures and details with my other sister which i completely had no idea about (unlike just the minor and unimportant things she claimed to have missed telling me) and I lost it. I confronted her and she again said rudely it was unimportant and that hostel wasn’t going to be finalized anyways so she didn’t share it with me (at that time, she had no idea if it would be finalized or not) I made it clear that i am hurt by her actions and feeling left out and all i was doing was securing her a good future so i dont know what warranted such behaviour.

Last night i found out that i am hidden from her IG stories and that was like the last blow for me. I felt hurt that my sister that i care for and love so much is treating me this way. I am considering to not pay for her fees. It isn’t out of any spite or revenge (my dad or my other sister can pay for her). I just feel that it is my hard earned money that i was willing to pay for her who doesn’t even respect me. I could instead keep that money for other purposes or even just for myself and my wedding as i had originally planned.

Ps: she travelled last night to her college destination. I lost my job this month so am currently unemployed.

WIBTA if i refuse to pay for her college fees and let my other family members pay for it instead (even though their savings are less than mine)