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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nobolognastoney on 2023-09-15 16:39:52.

Hi everyone, I’ll jump right in.

Today is the anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and she was a huge deal in my family. Now that she’s gone, we’ve all realized that she was very much the glue that kept us together, and covid took her away from us.

Ever since then, my aunt (who we’ll call Jane) has been, and I mean this, obliterated as a result. I don’t blame her, that’s not the point of the post. That said, it does sort of tie in. Grandma raised me, so I call refer to her as mom and will do so for the rest of the post. After mom passed, Jane has gone off the deep end. There’s a large portrait from the funeral service that stays in the living room of their house, and for some time after mom died, I’d come out of my room to go pee at 1/2/3AM and I’d see the silhouette of someone knelt in front of the photo, and through the whirring of household gadgets, I could hear mumbling, likely prayers. I’d never say anything, but I’d see it often. I’ve moved back out since, as I was only there to help my family through losing our mom. My pop who is now widowed, is under her care 24/7. She supervises his phone, who he talks too, and looks after him in general as his health isn’t the best, and constantly reminds him that he’s not allowed to move on romantically for some reason.

Over the last couple years, she pays the church they go to, to “have a mass in her name”, and scolds us for not wanting to attend or donate for them to say her name once or twice during mass, and has basically turned grieving into a contest. If I tell her I had mom on my mind a lot that day, she says she thought of her more, and she got more emotional than I did, or whoever made the mistake of brushing the topic with her. We have a family business that dad started, that is very much thriving still thankfully. She opened it with him in the late 90’s, and had been here basically the entire time until mom’s health decline with Covid in august of '21. She’s completely stepped down from her post to take care of dad, but kept her full pay for herself the entire time up to now, and continues to randomly send extremely sad and depressing things, or make super sad comments in passing. If there is a family gathering for someone’s birthday, we can expect her to cry at some point and talk about how mom should be here, and damn Covid, and all the other conspiracy garbage you can think of in regards.

Today she sent a message in the family chat with a youtube link titled “Rest in Peace” and I immediately told her that today of all days, I don’t want to hear it. We’re all sick of being guilted for not “feeling as bad” as she claims too, because we all grieve differently and handle it accordingly. On top of not being religious, I think the whole church service is dumb and unnecessary, but to each their own if it helps. It was over texxt, so “tone” may have been a problem, and now I’m ex-communicated and being called a POS.

AITA for telling her to just stop it?