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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GrouchyCrow8715 on 2023-09-15 20:47:11.

I (24F) have been dating a guy (24M) for almost three years. Twoish years ago, I painted a kind of raunchy picture for my partner as a gift. If you remember that trend where people painted the backs of their legs and butt and sat on a canvas- that’s what I did. It’s a big, about 24x36" canvas that has my asscheeks painted on it. He hadn’t hung it up yet, but it’s been sitting propped up against the wall in his man cave, the back of it facing out so no one could see the painting, since we just moved in and are still unpacking.

It was his mother’s bday a few weeks ago. We went out to dinner to celebrate, and my partner invited them over to our house after the dinner to show off our place. The group consisted of his mom, stepfather, 2 sisters, sister’s boyfriend, and his stepbrother.

His sisters and stepbrother weren’t super interested in a tour since they helped us move in and had already seen the place, so he was showing his mom and stepdad around.

I was out in the living room with everyone else when his stepdad walks in, holding my painting like it is a trophy. Everyone explodes into laughter, and his stepdad keeps making jokes about the fact I painted it for my partner. They’re talking about my butt and how weird/awkward it is I did that. His sister kept yelling and was laughing so hard she almost cried. My partner follows, laughing, saying, “I told them no, but they don’t listen.” My partner’s siblings are 14, 17, and 19, and I burst into tears and ran into the kitchen to hide because I felt embarrassed.

They ended up leaving not long after, and I was bawling in the kitchen. His stepdad was laughing and said, “sorry if I crossed any boundaries,” but he didn’t say it to me, he said it to my partner. I told my partner I never wanted to spend time with his family because of how they embarrassed me from here on out, and that I would only see them on the holidays I absolutely had to.

This didn’t make my partner very happy. I think when he realized I was serious and NOT just accepting his stepfather’s “sorry,” he began to get defensive. He was saying that people would’ve seen it anyway if it was hung up, and what, was he supposed to take it down every time he had guests? When I tried to explain it wasn’t about that, it just ended with him saying, “this can just be a wash.” He says he can’t change his family, and I know how they are, so I need to adjust to how they make me feel so I can handle them in the future.

AITA/WIBTA for making that decision and sticking to it because of this incident? I understand it is his family, and he probably feels like I am attacking them personally… but I just am embarrassed. :(

EDIT: Some clarifying info, he has never hung it up anywhere before moving into our house, because he said he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it. I know it was made for people to see, and I wouldn’t have cared if they had seen it hanging up, but it was the way his family went about it that makes me feel so icky.