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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/damagedhotmess on 2023-09-15 23:13:08.

Every day I look at myself in the mirror and I’m not enough. Every single one of my features is flawed in my eyes. I’m not pretty or smart or successful. I try to talk myself up, try to make me see myself differently, but I can’t. I realize I have body dysmorphia along with other mental health issues. I’m trying to work on it.

But then I go outside. Or on the internet. And it’s like a double dose of being bombarded about how I’m not good enough. Whether it’s my boyfriend telling me I’m not as pretty as other girls hes been with, or my mom making a comment about my weight. Or seeing other women who have all the features I want. Then my mind wanders and I’m SURE everyone is judging me. I’ll be walking around in a store and see someone do a double take of my body where their eyes linger on my stomach. And I’m positive they are thinking I’m fat. I’m constantly wondering what people are thinking of me and always assuming it’s negative. Even though I know logically like 99.9% of people don’t even notice me or care.

Then I made the mistake of posting pictures of myself on reddit and opening myself up to be perceived. And oh boy. Don’t recommend that, ever. Especially on certain subreddits that are filled with incels. The amount of weirdo 20 year olds who called me ugly was staggering, lol

Now I feel like everyone is picking me apart, all the time. And I don’t want to go out in public, or see my friends, or hell, even just scroll social media anymore. Everything is a trigger. And I’m so tired of it. I am on a waitlist for a psychologist and therapy so I can maybe be a normal, happy and healthy person one day, but in the meantime I just want to hide under the blankets and not be seen or heard by anyone in real life.