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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MaybePlayful7722 on 2023-09-16 01:55:27.

I am 30F. I’m raising my two kids, 7F and 4M. I have a younger sister, Megan, 28F. Megan has a daughter, Ava, 5F.

My daughter Ruby turned 7 last week and she wanted a laser tag party. I planned her a birthday party at our nearest laser tag centre, and I allowed Ruby to invite two friends from school. It includes a few games of laser tag and a pizza dinner afterwards for the kids.

Both of Ruby’s friends are vegetarians but luckily the laser tag place has plain cheese pizza that they can have.

I invited a few family members as well, including Megan and her daughter. Megan declined, her reasoning being that Ava will not eat pizza and she’ll feel left out.

For context

Ava has been a picky eater for a while. Whether this is due to neurodivergence or not, my guess is as good as anyone’s because my sister has never taken her to a pediatrician about this (we live in a country with free healthcare, cost is not the issue). Megan just caves and plays restaurant with her all the time and never has her try anything new.

According to Megan, the only things Ava will eat are chicken nuggets, plain cheese sandwiches, mashed potatoes and waffles. Megan just acts like this is not unusual or a problem at all, and says Ava will grow out of it eventually.

The problem started because Megan suggested that we change plans and after the laser tag games, we take all the kids to McDonald’s. I told Megan about two of the kids at the party being vegetarians and that she’s more than welcome to bring her own food to the party for Ava.

Megan kept trying to persuade me and said Ruby’s friends can bring their own food instead. I told her to stop because I’m not changing the plans, she can either come or not, at this point I was getting annoyed. Megan snapped at me and said the girls are choosing to be vegetarians, her daughter isn’t choosing to be a picky eater, and I should prioritise my niece. I said it’s not about priorities, I’m just not changing plans that are already made and booked. I told Megan she needs to address her daughter’s eating habits because they are blatantly out of control.

My sister said there was no need for me to be rude and that I have no right to comment on her parenting, Ava isn’t my child and I have no say. She said if I have a problem with that, I can go screw myself.

Megan ended up not going to the party and my parents are intervening and saying that they understand why I said what I said, but it’s still not my business and I should’ve just left it at “I’m not changing the plans” and I should apologize to Megan for the comment.

Am I the asshole?