This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Own_Indication1884 on 2023-09-16 14:51:40.

My brother and his wife were married for 4 years when my brother learned that his ex had a baby that she never told him about and he was the father. The child in question was 9. My niece was a huge surprise for all of us. The last we knew my brother’s ex “Emma” was moving for a job and wanted to end the relationship. She only reached out to my brother after all that time because she had cervical cancer and knew she had nobody to take care of their daughter “Lucy”.

My brother met former SIL “Shannon” a few months after he and his ex broke up. They started dating and got married and had tried for a baby but Shannon was told she could not have a biological child due to PCOS. It broke Shannon’s heart and she struggled with the news. It was about five months later that the news of Lucy broke and things spiraled.

A DNA test was carried out and proved my brother was the father. He was uncertain about a place in Lucy’s life after all those years of them not knowing each other. But he did step up in the end. Shannon told him she could not stay if he was the father. She could not watch him raise his child with someone else. She could never love his child with someone else and would resent them both when she couldn’t have a child.

After Shannon left she found out she was pregnant. She was told during the pregnancy that she never should have been told she couldn’t have children. That the correct way of saying it would have been that it would be more difficult but certainly not impossible. Shannon was 13 weeks along when she found out she was pregnant. My brother figured that would make her want to try and make things work. But Shannon did not want to be a stepmother and said they should continue to divorce and co-parent their son “Kai” who was now 1.

So all in all it has been almost 2 years since they learned about Lucy and it didn’t take long for the DNA results so it’s close to two years since the relationship ended.

My brother went from being upset about Shannon not making it work, to pissed off, and he badmouths Shannon all the time. It got to the point where I grew tired of him saying it and I defended her. I said it was better for her to leave than to stay and treat Lucy badly when she knew she didn’t want to raise her. I even asked my brother if he would have stayed had he been in Shannon’s shoes. My brother said I should be on his side and not Shannon’s and I’m defending the unforgivable.

AITA?