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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Creative_Ad6966 on 2023-09-16 16:18:13.

My boyfriend has ADHD, but he really wants you to know he has adhd.

im the leader of a 12 person group. i have to plan everything related to our coding project with a client. every week, i bust my ass off planning, checking up on everyone, making sure everything is being met with precision. i make sure i plan with every person in the team, send texts saying “this, this and this will be discussed in the meeting at server X in channel X in discord.”

My boyfriend, however, never attends those meetings. Why? I didn’t personally remind him. So, he doesn’t attend the meetings because I didn’t tell him “Hey honey, go the meetings that you have to be a part of”. Why don’t I remind him? Because I’m literally fucking in charge of other 12 fucking people that blame everything on me if something goes south, even if it isn’t my fault.

Last time I told him, “what did you do exactly for the project last time and where can I find it?” his response? “Look for it in the chat”. Oh, so , when he asks things to me I have to respond him, and can’t tell him “look for it in the chat where I have made a VERY detailed description of what to do, how to do it , and by which date I want it” but when I want support from my own literal boyfriend, expecting him to be a help instead of a burden, his response is exactly what he doesn’t want to hear from me.

I send the texts, I do the meetings and he just takes that and shoves it up his ass. Every meeting we have, is being recorded. I send him the recordings. He doesn’t watch them. He has doubts. I say “there’s the recording”. “I won’t watch it, you know it, it’s my adhd” OK. I explain.

I have to explain everything TWICE, to him and everyone else, because he just can’t be bothered to read texts. It’s highly disrespectful to me, and his responses are always the same “you didn’t tell me” MOTHERFUCKER I SAID IT IN THE GROUP CHAT.

Why are men like this? Always blaming things on their conditions, “too much work”

He’s taking 4 courses, I’m taking 5 + I’m in charge of 12 other people and a group project and if the requirements are not being met, then I’m the one to blame.

I may be the asshole, I may be should be more understanding of him. But I have ADHD, too. I have other things to do, too.

The others are basically saying mean, misogynistic things about me, and when I go complaining about it to him, all he can say is “You can’t let it get to you. You can’t see the positive because you’re too hung up on the negative.” I asked him, “What’s positive about being treated like trash, putting so much effort you don’t even sleep and all of that being for nothing?” His reply?

“You just can’t see the positive”

I’m literally starting to hate him.

EDIT: We’re in college, not in an actual work environment yet.

Outside of things like this (first time working in a group project too btw) , I really do love him. He takes care of me, looks out for me, and is the most loving boyfriend I’ve ever had. All would be perfect, if it weren’t for this issue.