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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TheVoicesinurhed on 2023-09-16 16:53:46.

For context, my father-in-law has terminal brain cancer and has lived for 2.5 years since diagnosis. Over the last few months things have taken a turn for the worse and he is days away from passing. He had colostomy surgery, two brain surgeries and Can no longer process food. He’s on a useless feeding tube, can’t speak, can’t move, and let’s just say it’s all BAD.

My wife and I live near her parents (we purchased a house near them since they are elderly) and her sister lives a few hundred miles away. She’s a good person but she only comes and visits during holidays, doesn’t help with any family things and has only come see her dad a twice in the last few months. Us, we visit nearly every other day, plus whatever else they need. Like cleaning their garages, moving their houses, etc. we do this happily.

Fast forward to two days ago. The doctor was telling us that we should remove his feeding tube and the time is near. We should let him live in comfort, and stop these machines. He would have hours to days to maybe a week or more to live. They truly don’t know. Needless to say, it was CRAZY during this moment, and I was told to call the sister. I told the sister that things were dire and she should come up fast.

She was at a work conference and left it to fly to us immediately. My wife also missed a work conference this week, and I too missed several days of work for this. We all sacrificed, as we should.

This sister arrives and the mother decides that she wants to keep him on the machines longer. The family is divided on this but it’s not our call.

During this time, the sister has come to the realization that her dad may live another week or so.

While at the hospital last night, the sister started saying things like “I should only be speaking to doctors since I don’t get the proper information”, “I can have full on conversations with dad” (which is false) and kept making digs about us not making good choices, while also giving us the cold shoulder and acting as if we have more time than we do.

Apparently while I wasn’t at the hospital, the sister also handed my pregnant wife her ass about how we are irresponsable for calling her and that we made the situation out to be more dire than it was.

Are we the assholes in this instance?

Needless to say, I’m floored and want to explode on this woman but that won’t help… to me, she’s being irrational, slightly delusional, and selfish.