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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CheetahMany7730 on 2023-07-03 13:30:29+00:00.


29f. I’ve been living with my roommate since April and most of the time I keep to myself. I mean, we get along but as days progress, there’s a lot of stuff that I’m not okay with that’s brushed under the rug. Like my roommates kid eating all my food or my roommate using my food to cook meals for “all of us” (me, her, her kid, her husband) because she works really long hours and doesn’t have time to go to the grocery store (in her defense, they are closed usually when she gets off work and she truly has no time before she goes back in to work because most of her shifts are 12-16hours). She’s been shaving back my rent by $150 because she eats my food but like… the food I’ve bought that’s been eaten is way more than that. And she also feeds all of them before calling me down to tell me dinner is done and there is usually hardly anything left because these guys eat easily 4x a normal portion amount.

Anyways, my mom asked me to go there for 2 weeks because she needs someone to watch her dog while she does her yearly conference meetings. She’s going to be either mostly away or will be getting in super late so she doesn’t have time for her dog right this second. I told her I would. I left yesterday and when I left, I took 90% of the food I bought with me. This included at least $300 worth of meat and easily another $200 for perishables/pasta/veg. I didn’t have to take that much because realistically, I won’t eat that much during the 2 weeks I’m gone but a huge part of me just doesn’t want them eating all my food when I’m gone either because this was NOT the deal we made when I moved in. We were supposed to be cooking separately but after I allowed her to use my food a couple times after she asked, she just started using it constantly without asking. Her husband can’t go to the grocery store due to having a recent (2 months ago) back surgery. I left enough for a couple days, just so they could figure it out.

Anyways, I got a text this morning around 4am (when she gets home from work) asking where all the food was because she was going to take food out to thaw and I told her I took it with me to my mother’s because I needed to eat and since I bought the food, I wanted to be there when she makes it so I can eat it too, since it’s mine. She kind of put on a guilt trip saying “I really wish you would have said something to me about you taking all the food in the house so I could figure out what to feed my kid and husband while you’re gone. Bummer. Guess our communication isn’t as good as I thought it was.” AITA?

ETA: I had over $300 worth of meat because she called in a meat package for $480 and had me go get it. She said she would pay me back or take it from my rent. She didn’t pay me back, as she said she didn’t have the money right now and she didn’t take it from my rent either. I still paid her $750 for the month, because “I can’t cut back your rent this month because we are falling behind and need the money”. I never would have bought a “Full Freezer” meat package for myself.

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    11 year ago

    I hate to say it but I’m on the fence leaning toward YTA. The mistake was not having an actual agreement in place. “You pay $250 more in rent and I’ll buy you $250 in groceries”

    From her perspective there is an sastus quo and she unexpectedly had it changed. If your sent her a message saying hey I’m going away for two weeks and taking my food with me then you would clearly be NTA buy with no notice and a previous agreement YTA.