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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Mindless-Ganache-381 on 2023-09-16 22:52:58.

Trigger warning: SA

Hi everyone, hopefully this is the right place to post this. So I (24F) have been using Hinge and went on a first date with a guy (31M) on Monday. We went to the beach and had a good time, he seemed like a really nice guy, almost too nice. We texted here and there and then he invited me over after I got off work on Thursday night. It was late, we were attracted to each other, so I knew that sex was most likely on the table. I go over and we have a glass of wine and talk for about an hour. He says, hey can I show you something? I agree and he takes me up to his room and we lay on his bed in the dark. Weird way to get me into bed, but thats fine. We start messing around and he says he wants to “tease” me. It was sort of strange but I went with it, and I asked him more than once, “so you don’t want to have sex tonight?” And he said that he thinks we should wait.

It starts getting weird when he forcefully flips me over on my hands and knees. He’s still “teasing” me and I’m going along with it, but suddenly starts having sex with me. I would have wanted to use a condom and he didn’t explicitly ask me if it was okay. Then he starts ordering me around to do things in bed I normally wouldn’t do, I ask to switch position from doggy (its not exactly my favorite) and he says no and keeps going until he finishes. The cherry on top is that after he basically gets dressed and tells me he has to make a phone call, so he kicks me out at 1AM. I left feeling really really weird and uncomfortable… ive had a lot of hook ups but this left me feeling really degraded. I know some people are into dominant/submissive sex but that wasn’t discussed or agreed upon at all. I was feeling really depressed the next day, he never texted me, so i confided in some friends who told me that what he did was really wrong. It felt good to hear people say that. They told me to block him on everything so I did.

I guess my reason for wanting to get this off my chest is because… what happened was something in the gray area. There’s still part of me that feels like I’m the one in the wrong or deceitful. I have a lot of trauma with men and it’s just such a bummer that this happened, i think it will put me off from sex or dating for a long time