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The original was posted on /r/Superstonk by /u/IxoraRains on 2023-09-17 03:17:24.

Seriously, who is the boss? Who am I fighting? Everyone knows Dougiefresh and our personal favorite, the dude who puts the Naise into the Man, Kenneth Cordell Griffin, who lied under oath. But wtf, these new bosses? Expansion pack or are these just secret?

BLACKROCK- sounds ominous and probably has a boss that snorts lines of ketchup off boners.

Instinet? I swear, I’ve been thinking about these mfers for the last couple days and I could not for the life of me remember their name when typing this. Did a google and some software solutions company pops up. These peeps are trying to erase my memory. That or it’s the weed I just smoked.

Viola? Yooooooo, wtf. Oh look a floridian. I wonder what kind of weird shit he’s into besides robbing billions of dollars from millions of people.

I wanna know who I’m fighting. I’ll take them all on at once, naked. Old wieners floppin’ around. I have a young verile wiener. A wiener of hedgie blight. Fully erect. I can take them in a wiener war. But I will not let anyone do a line of anything off my wiener!

Seriously… I need a picture chart. But not of their wieners.

Who is at the top of this? Who’s pulling the strings?

Edit: spellin’ wieners so much got me spelling other EI words wrong