This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Char_7maina on 2023-09-17 01:02:31.

My husband has 2 kids from a previous 9f and 7m. The kids have been with my husband 100% of the time since my husband and his ex broke up. She has not been very involved in their lives since the youngest was just a year old. They do not have a relationship with their mom, however, her mother and grandmother do visit the kids, but not often. I’ve known the kids since they were 3 and 5.

I’ve traveled a lot during my childhood and as an adult. It’s something that the kids are really interested in. I go on vacation multiple times a year and unfortunately, my husband and the kids could never travel with me outside the US. The kids need a letter of permission to travel abroad, which was hard for us to get since his ex never answered his emails.

My family and I have been planning a trip to Paris and Kyoto to visit my maternal grandmother and paternal grandparents for Christmas and New Year. My entire family is going on this trip, my parents, in-laws, siblings, cousins, nieces, and nephews. We’ve been planning this trip for over 2 years and we finally bought our plane tickets after my son was born eight weeks ago. My husband’s ex has also signed the letter of permission, so everything is already in order for the trip.

Last weekend my husband’s ex sent him an email regarding our trip. She basically asked if we could cancel our trip, so the kids could spend Christmas with their great-grandmother. Their great-grandmother is supposedly ill and they’re not sure if she’s going to be here next year.

My husband immediately wanted to reject that idea, but I asked him to think about it.

I think it might be good for the kids to stay behind with their grandma. They’ll get to see their great-grandma for maybe for the last and they’ll also see their mom. I know the kids are very excited to travel abroad, but do think this is more important than Paris or Kyoto. Both are just cities they won’t go anywhere and we can visit in summer. I told my husband all of this and he argued that we’d probably not get the money back we already spend. I told him that we bought business-class plane tickets and I know we’ll get that back.

My husband just got angry and told me that we’re not going to discuss it anymore. My parents and siblings are on his side, but I feel like they’re only looking at the money. When I was a kid my parents also left my siblings and me in Kyoto with my grandparents to go on a trip. At the time I was also angry about it, but as an adult am very happy that I got to spend that time with my grandparents.

I think this is also the case for the kids. They probably won’t be happy about it now, but will really appreciate it when they’re older. My husband disagreed with this and told me I was not looking at the kids’ situation and was angry when I again suggested canceling their trip. AITA?