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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/lordofscreentime on 2023-09-17 06:08:38.

Me (M29) and my husband (M31) recently went to a wedding back in my home town. For context I grew up in rural northern California a town with a population of 20,000.

My good friend from childhood was getting married and her and most of my friends from growing up still live there. I went to college in southern California met my husband and we have lived there ever since.

My ex boyfriend from senior year of high school was also attending we have a pretty friendly relationship now but have had some tension over the years. He has never left our small town, it has very little romantic and career opportunity , and has taken that frustration out on my success. He has had many opportunities to leave (Including when we were 20 and he got into the same college I was going to in LA and I begged him to come live with me) and just for some reason never has.

I don’t know why but the bride (my friend) placed the three of us at the same table, my husband and my ex have never met and I honestly was a little nervous about what might happen, but wasn’t about to be the person who asked to switch tables.

Everything was fine, we caught up with him and other friends, had dinner, and thought I had escaped any awkward moments. But about half way through dancing my husband went back to our table to rest without me, about 10 minutes later I went back to the table and found my husband and ex talking.

At first I thought “how cute” until I sat down and found my ex in the middle of several embarrassing sexual stories, and my husband laughing and chiming in with things like “oh he still makes that sound”. I was embarrassed to say the least and felt uncomfortable that my husband was breaking our trust by engaging in this conversation and talking about my sexual preferences. But I tried to laugh a long for a little.

Until my husband chimes in with his own story to add to the pile, revealing that I have been suffering from some erectile dysfunction issues. Something I am very embarrassed about and didn’t want anyone knowing. My ex laughed and generally poked fun at it.

I got up from the table in a huff, my (semi-drunk) husband follows me out into the hallway, I yell and say how dare you, why would you do that, and teared up. He doubled down saying he was just poking fun it wasn’t a big deal, and I should not make a scene. I said I was leaving and he could stay and talk to my ex if he wanted I didn’t care. So we left, and when we got back to the hotel, he yelled at me that I’m a baby and I should grow up. I was so upset I cried and we continued to yell.

It’s been a few weeks with no apology from my ex or him, and I’m still feeling hurt.

Am I the ass hole?