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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Inevitable-Honey5292 on 2023-09-17 17:46:38.

I am 6 weeks off of giving birth and a few months ago my boyfriend and I were sat at his sister’s and we were discussing birth plans (this is my first child and my partner has 4 and his sister has 2 children so they are more experienced at this). During this conversation his sister stated how she didn’t want certain people to know when she was having her second child which from what I gather went out the window as someone told the person she specifically didn’t want to know. We got to the stage where I was talking about what I wanted and I expressed how I only wanted my mum and my boyfriend in there with me with his dad and step mum there 24 hours after the birth, this is when all hell breaks loose. I then get for weeks on end “I’m going to be your birthing partner not your mum” “I’m going to tag team it with my brother” “I’m good to be there as it’s through half term” no matter how much I said no this wouldn’t stop until I completely lost my rag and had a massive row with my boyfriend over it to the point where I told him if she doesn’t stop and get it in her head no one will be there with me and he will miss his child’s birth because of her and he told her that she will be invited to see the baby as and when we are ready for visitors. Since then she has tried everything she can to try and ruin my relationship with my boyfriend, as in we go out together and there is suddenly an emergency at her house and she can’t get out of work and her kids are on their own and 10pm at night, she finds out we are meant to be doing something together and suddenly she can’t cope and needs her brother and keeps him there until all hours of the morning knowing he won’t leave her while he thinks his little sister is in trouble. This has also led to huge rows with me and my boyfriend and I just now feel abandoned because I never see him and that she will come up with an excuse to stop him being at the birth. I also need to add when she has these “emergencies” she has a go at him for answering his phone to me. Do I just change my mind and allow her to be there so that I actually get to see my boyfriend and know that he will be allowed at his child’s birth or at least be able to know I have gone into labour?