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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway5612qwerty on 2023-09-18 00:39:42.

My (56F) daughter (21F) was home from college for a short break and we were looking forward to spending time together. Last year, the local historical society hosted an afternoon tea at one of the member’s house, which is from the 1800s, and I attended and really enjoyed it. We were allowed to tour to house, which was what I really enjoyed. They’d hired a catering service to make the tea and food that went along with it - finger sandwiches, custard tarts, etc. My daughter expressed interest in seeing the house and attending the tea with me, and this year it happened to fall on when she was home on break.

I asked her if she still wanted to go and she said yes. She is a very picky eater, always has been, despite my best efforts, so I warned her that they might not serve anything she wanted to eat at the tea. She said that was okay and she’d eat something before we left, which she did. We got to the house and did the tour—she absolutely loved it and took a genuine interest in hearing about the restoration efforts and the history of the house. When it came time for tea, she politely refused any tea that was offered and simply drank her water. She took a few bites of one of the sandwiches but it wasn’t to her taste so she simply set it down.

She was incredibly polite and didn’t raise a fuss over the food at all. She complimented the caterers on their hard work and held conversation with the other women at the table. When the lunch was over, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, and one of the women sitting nearby (60sF, part of the historical society committee) said it was rude of me to invite my daughter and her not eat anything. Another woman agreed and asked why I even brought her to the tea if she wasn’t going to drink any. I explained that she had wanted to see the house and it was a way for us to spend time together, but now I’m wondering if I had been wrong to bring her.

I am not upset with my daughter at all, I am just wondering if I should have found something else to do with her while she was home instead that wouldn’t have upset so many people.