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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Impressive_Many2425 on 2023-09-17 23:05:02.

English isn’t my first language.

I (20F) have a half-brother (30M) from my father’s first marriage. My parents divorced when I was 5. My brother and I were close and he stayed over at our house a lot until I was around 12 yo. After some personal stuff between him and my mom and work on his side we sadly drifted apart and maybe saw each other 1-2 times a year.

My brother called me last year telling me was getting ‘engaged’ (in our culture the grooms family goes to the brides home to ask for her hand in marriage from her family. It was about that) and said he really wanted me there. I was excited and agreed, hoping that this would be a good time to try and reconnect. My mom encouraged me to go, but she seemed upset that it was ‘last minute’ (he called me a week before) and asked if he planned on buying me a dress. I said I didn’t need a dress because I already had one at home that would fit. She didn’t say much more after that.

Afterwards our relationship became much better and we hung out more.

Where I’m from most couples get married before the actual wedding. My brother and his now-wife got married a week before their wedding and again, my mom asked me if my brother was going to buy me a dress. I said I didn’t need a new one because I had one at home. She held her tongue but it was obvious she was annoyed and upset.

Then, the night before the wedding, my mom exploded over the dress thing. She said that she could overlook my brother not buying me a dress until now but she couldn’t overlook the disrespect he was showing towards me as his sister by not buying one for his actual wedding. He did ask me if I wanted to go dress shopping. I declined since I had a dress at home. It was one I wore to my cousins wedding a few years back and it still fit me. I told her as much.

She said that she won’t allow her daughter to be ‘humiliated’. What would people think if I wore an ‘inappropriate dress for the grooms sister’. I said I didn’t care and that the dress was very much appropriate. She then said that my brother was treating me like a guest and how he never looked after me during all of this. I said that he always made me appointments for hair&makeup. My mother said I was blind to how my brother has been treating me because I’ve idolized him, that he only wants me there because he wants to keep up face with his wife and in-laws, showing them how ‘great of a brother he is’. Then she took my keys and hid them away so I couldn’t leave.

I didn’t get my keys back so I had to call my brother and tell him I couldn’t come to the wedding.

Ever since then I’ve been ignoring my mother. She’s tried to talk to me and tell me she was sorry but that she only had my best interest in mind.

I don’t really see the issue in how my brother was treating me. I was happy to rebuild our relationship. I don’t know if I can forgive my mother for making me miss his wedding.

AITA?