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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ill-Clue-8436 on 2023-09-17 22:08:19.
Sorry for any mispellings and the formatting.
I’ve (F17) never been close to my parents. I wasn’t planned since both my parents had me when they were 18. My father always leave me clear that I was a mistake and that if i wasn’t born he could have had a normal life for a 18-years-old (parties, dating, pursuing his career). My mother wasn’t like this; but she’s always been really cold and never showed me any kind of affection, but she cared about my well- being at least.
This made my upbringing extremely hard because I didn’t even have any other familiar that could take care of me. This for obvious reasons fucked me up a lot. When i was 14 my parents divorced and almost instantly my dad meet this another woman “Lila” and they got engaged. After their split, i mostly stayed with my mom because when i went to my dad’s it was so clear that nobody wanted me here and at least my mom was kind of more tolerant of me.
a year ago, my dad married Lila and they had a baby boy that they named “Alex”. Alex was actually planned, this was clear since both my dad and Lila were really happy about it and adorned their home full of pics of Axel. They pucharsed a lot of toys for him, treated him with so much love. And this only fucked me up more and if i am honest, jealous to see how much my dad loved this kid but he never loved or treated me like that.
since my brother was born, i have stopped visiting my dad and stopped talking to him because now i feel much more pain. For some reason he has tried to make me go to his place to spend time and “bond” with Axel but i refuse everytime because seeing that kid really brings me so much pain. my dad has also even asked me to babysit the kid, which i also refused.
my mom has asked me why i haven’t go to my dad’s anymore, i hesitantly told her the truth and she told me that i should try to bond with the child since he’s my only sibling and he’s not at fault. I told her that i didn’t want to and that i am not planning to bond with him or visit my father.
If I am 100% honest, i feel really bitter and salty towards the toddler. i know he’s not at fault but i can’t help it, i can’t even see him in pics. I need to know if I am really being too overdramatic and the AH for feeling like this towards an innocent child. Bc i’m feeling really affected just by seeing how much they love and cherish him. I know that it’s a kid and he deserves all the love and joy, but i would just prefer to stay away from him as much as i can.
AITA?