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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/anonforavent on 2023-09-18 07:30:47.

I’m just upset and don’t know how to navigate this or put into words my feelings. My husband and I (both early thirties) have been married five years. The last few months have been incredibly stressful for me and it has seriously decreased my sex drive.

My dad is actively dying, not expected to make it more than a few months to a year max. My sister has been neglecting her kids and her current romantic interest is a felon who just got their place raided again because he is running guns and drugs (12 felony counts pending) but is out on bail so back. My mother is worried about my dad dying and losing his benefits so has been calling me begging me for money every other week to help her out.

With all of this and work stress on top of it my sex drive is a lot lower. We are probably having sex once a week. My husband usually initiates though I probably do as well about thirty percent of the time. He has turned me down multiple times because he was doing something else or not into it so I didn’t think we were having any big issues just less sex than before. I have been a lot less inclined to have any because of the stress and feeling really unsupported in all of this. Recently i’ve been getting annoyed because every single time he’s touched me in the last two weeks has been immediately sexual. I go to give him a hug and I get like a two second hug before he is grabbing my boobs, i sit by him on the couch and he tries putting his face in my crotch. If i turn him down for sex he gets huffy and leaves the room.

Yesterday I woke up with random pain in my breast. This has happened before but i’ve been distracted so didn’t pay attention. Well I was awake, getting ready for an expensive activity we were going to do with friends when I felt around my breast and found a lump. I immediately told my husband because i was (am) freaking out. we were on the bed and he just full hand came out and grabbed my breast with splayed figners on mostly my nipple. I pushed his hand away and asked him to ask before grabbing me, to let me show him where i’m talking about.

He cut me off before I ever even got to explain and huffed really loudly and told me I was being a bitch and stormed off. We couldn’t cancel this thing with friends so I grabbed the keys to drive and he just very dramatically sighed and gave me the silent treatment until I didn’t read his mind and stop at a coffee shop. It set off an argument where he turned everything on me and said I was being unreasonable for “assuming” he was grabbing me in a sexual way (which i never even said) and that pushing his hand away in that moment was completely unacceptable. He kept calling it me “slapping his hand away” . I told him it wasn’t reasonable for him upset when I want bodily autonomy and especially in a moment where I really needed support and he literally opened the car door while i was still pulling in forcing me to slam on my breaks to avoid him getting hurt as he left the car. He avoided me the rest of the day. He didn’t talk to me once on our drive home and put headphones in before bed.

Today he acted like nothing happened and when I told him (very calmly) I didn’t want to go out with him to go run some of his errands with him he’s like “oh you still want to be fighting then. Let me know when your ready to stop being emotional”.

I get that he’s feeling like i’m turning him down a lot (he asks for sex basically every other day, usually after he’s done playing video games and i’m in the middle of something else I started because he got off work and immediately started playing video games)

I’m just struggling to put into words how big of a deal this was for me. I don’t want to be done fighting because I want a god damn apology.