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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/nosingaboutonreddit on 2023-09-18 12:38:11.

As the title says, my whole childhood was spent with boys as friends. We were in the same class, all the way from preschool until year 11.

When I was about 7 I remember getting frustrated that my friends were treated different by adults (teachers and parents). They would get asked about Pokémon, what they’re favourite Lego or action man etc. I had all of them too but no-one asked me. I loved dinosaurs and action men. But I was asked about when I wanted to get married or who I had a crush on. Weird, right? I was jealous of my friends.

It wasn’t until about 9 when I realised it was definitely because I was a girl. But I didn’t get why there was a division and what it meant. I refused to wear girl clothes and people would think I was my parent’s ‘son’. Also, dresses were impractical for tree climbing. My dad would take me to Toys ‘R’ Us to shop for dinsours. He wouldn’t correct people either. He let me be me. I preferred how I was treated as a boy.

My mum would try and buy me dolls and buggies. I genuinely felt distraught, as if she was forcing me to like something I didn’t like. I genuinely loved bionicle, dinosaurs and dragons. I wasn’t faking it. My grandad bought me a mini motorbike model when I was in hospital and it meant the world to me.

I understand why some people want to be called ‘they’ or ‘them’. Because I remember telling people to treat me ‘like a boy’, not because I wanted to change gender, but because I wanted the freedoms and hobbies that boys had. I remembered using the pronouns ‘them’ because to me it meant ‘generic person’ with no roles put on them.

How did I work this out at such a young age? The pronoun thing wasn’t really known back then. I’m in my 30s now.

My childhood experience impacted me more than I realised. I still talk to some of my friends but the societal pressures did impact us. People always assumed one of them was my boyfriend or they all had a crush on me. It became uncomfortable for me so I pushed them away. It hurt.

I ended up spending more time on my own as I felt that was the only way to be myself. But I did make some great friends (women and men) but mostly women, many of who were similar but they didn’t seem to have the same experience in childhood, as in they had girl friends. I just feel disappointed that society is like this. Forcing roles on children. Children are learning and developing, why would you force them to be someone else?

Sorry for the long post.

Anyone else experience this? I haven’t met another woman who had the same experience and would like to hear from someone who has. Just to see if they struggled and felt the same hurt, like a deep hurt or disappointment that still subtly lingers.