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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Consistent-Army-925 on 2023-09-18 18:20:50.

It sounds weird and I may very well be the AH, but I’m not sure I regret it even so.

Background: My mom died when I was 4. My dad remarried when I was 7. We’ll call my stepmother Sheila. Sheila is the personification of the tradwife trope and while she’s not Quiverful movement, she comes from a similar background. Basically, her entire self-worth is wrapped up in how many kids she has and how nice her house is kept. She has a lot of disdain for “career women”, especially unmarried, childless ones. Needless to say, I do not like or agree with Sheila and I have no idea what my dad sees in her. My mom was the opposite. My teenage years were one long, constant argument because (1) I have refused numerous times to be adopted by Sheila, (2) I have 6 half-siblings and I refused to help her raise them, and (3) I am pretty much everything Sheila disapproves of. My dad tried to mediate as best he could but it was a difficult situation.

Needless to say, I do not go home often. I keep in contact with my dad, but I ignore anything from Sheila unless it’s an emergency. I completed my surgical residency not long ago, so I took some time off for a vacation and a quick visit with my dad before I really get stuck into my practice. I agreed to come to their house for a cookout, knowing that I would probably be annoyed but it was something nice my dad wanted to do for me.

Now, I don’t have children or a partner. I love my career and I like being solo. Still, when I was in undergrad I figured if I’m not going to use my eggs, someone might as well get some use out of them. So I did 3 rounds of egg donations and put the money towards med school. As a result at last report I have 8 biological offspring.

Sheila decided to start her usual “When are you going to settle down?”, nonsense, and I was set to ignore her as usual, but then she said “Don’t think you’re better because you have money, a woman’s worth is in her home and children.”

I said, “Well, that would mean I’m still better than you because I have more bio-children than you do, a nice home, AND a successful career.

She just stared at me for a minute and left. She didn’t come back outside while I was there. My dad called later to ask what happened and said that even though she shouldn’t have started the conversation in the first place, it was a low blow. She couldn’t have more children after the last one, and she was very upset to be reminded of that, plus she has always thought that I look down on her. I do, but not because of her lifestyle choice, more so because she’s so judgmental about it herself.

Anyway, my dad wants me to apologize. A couple of the older half-siblings have sent me radioactive texts about it. I think she walked in to that one, but given her fertility issues and knowing how much self-concept she has wrapped up in a big family, it might have been a little over the line.

AITA?